metamorphasis

for a while I have struggled to find significance

I have looked in many different places to see who I am

I've been so caught up in trying to catch a glimpse in the mirror

I forgot

...if a butterfly is merely brushed by an inquisitive fingertip before it's wings harden...

it is handicapped forever

that being said

I think these moments hanging here while I break free of the chrysalis

are some of the best yet

I feel impatient for many things

but learning lessons while in transformation is part of the journey

i am a victim. but i did it all to myself. all by myself.

in the kitchen, with a coffee cup. and now?

well, dont even get me started, but the desire, or more likely the ability to sleep... has been stolen away from my grasp.

today is hot. and i sound really unintelligent. blabbering on about nonsense helps tho.

ticklemeelmo stolemyphone
HELP!!!

i shud hav stayed in bed
... its true

no isolated incident

you know sometimes i wish i was a kid again. to trust when someone says, "the fire burns" and not be the person who has to check and see.

i wish i was a kid again, operating on a specific level of innocence...

i wish i had the mental purity in a sense that a kid has before he comes too close to the inner workings of the world around us.

its hard to pull yourself out of your surroundings when you have allowed yourself to get so caught up in such menial and trivial things the world entertains us with.

its hard to see that moral highground. or maybe its painfully obvious.

its hard to even desire it.

but in a chance encounter with the mirror you see the truth of your soul is farther from who you thought you were inside. and maybe its because you just walked, and neglected to pay attention to the pathways.

if my actions define my character and show my true intentions. Then who i am, is who i hoped to never be.

but still, i am a work in progress. so i walk in hope. pursuing purpose.

webster dumped me for someone younger

have you ever noticed, even as writers...
sometimes we lose our magic touch with words?
its like trying to ride a bike, or keeping a standard wpm (words per min)
it takes commitment. and commitment requires practice.

i still get lost in my head.
my head is halfway down a mental track and im still trying to figure out how to phrase the first part of my sentance.

maybe its because there is a mental disconnect. like who i was two minutes ago simply cant get along with who i am becoming now. so like a conscientious objector my subconscience starts to riot. throwing my mind into upheaval.

(so, not likely, but it was worth a try)

something has to change. and its me.

good life

i would have written more
but im lame
just found an app for this
my itouch is too good
my thumbs will become strong

and i will be able to articulate
and digi word vomit again
be excited cause i am

. its too late for this .
goodnight

24/7

Ok week, here I come, treat me well ok?

It's really strange to only really have 48 hrs of time to myself. Working two jobs keeps me busy. But in a way it's a blessing because I discover that I have far less time to be disatisfied.
Its like the less time I have to myself, the less I am inclined to sit and whine about not being happy. I seek happiness and joy in the moments in between, in the smiles of the people around me and the dialoge that is birthed.

I love people, I really do, and I love to love those around me. I'm just praying that my life doesn't get to the point that it leads me around and I forget to stop and smell the roses and make eye contact with a stranger.

Hello Monday, cmere, lets catch up

the sad side of irony

In every breath that I breath in, I have a million thoughts rushing through my head.

Not to make myself sound amazing or anything, but I always have a lot on my mind.

Maybe too much.

Lately, I find that I question the reasoning behind why I am here.

And what my worth is if I can't fufill my calling.

What if everytime I stepped forwards I was stepping further away

Further from what I was called to do/become.

Isn't that scary?

Then, I find that the more I think like this the more I don't listen

I should be listening right?

Cause if I don't relax and rely and let go and listen

Then I'll have no idea which way is up