I'm left with my thoughts
trapped in a muted state of repose as I ponder who I have become to those around me
I'm afraid
Worried that my heart is slowly hollowing out
feeling like daily I am become more and more empty
What do I have left to offer to these people I love?
It's funny, the affects that alcohol can have on your mind.
at first you feel completely invincible and fearless
and then slowly that sense of reckless abandon leaves you to the way-side
you just... start to feel... tragic.
it's like all those unhappy feelings that disappear when the sun come up creep back in thru the cracks when the stars come out to dance and you are just shrouded in darkness.
There is so much beauty surrounding you. So much vibrant, exhilarating chaos but for those moments you feel as though you stand alone and separate from all the things that bring love and life into your soul.
Makes me wonder on a spare occasions here and there why I do this to myself.
And why do I do this to others?
I am loved. I love. But daily I fail to achieve the goals I set for myself.
Life moves on
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